It is sunny and warm and I have been outside reading and relaxing and feel a lot better.
You know how it is, right, ladies? You know a guy for a while. You hang out with him. You do fun things with him—play video games, watch movies, go hiking, go to concerts. You invite him to your parties. You listen to his problems. You do all this because you think he wants to be your friend.
But then, then comes the fateful moment where you find out that all this time, he’s only seen you as a potential girlfriend. And then if you turn him down, he may never speak to you again. This has happened to me time after time: I hit it off with a guy, and, for all that I’ve been burned in the past, I start to think that this one might actually care about me as a person. And then he asks me on a date.
I tell him how much I enjoy his company, how much I value his friendship. I tell him that I really want to be his friend and to continue hanging out with him and talking about our favorite books or exploring new restaurants or making fun of avant-garde theatre productions. But he rejects me. He doesn’t answer my calls or e-mails; if we’d been making plans to do something before this fateful incident, these plans mysteriously fail to materialize. (This is why I never did get around to seeing the Hunger Games movie. Not to name any names, but thanks a lot, Tom.) Later, when I run into him at social events, our conversations are awkward and lukewarm. This is because the moment we met, he put me in the girlfriend-zone, and now he can’t see me as friend material.
I must say that I find this really unfair. I mean, I’m a nice girl. I have a lot to offer as a friend, like not being a douchebag and stuff. But males just don’t want to be friends with nice girls like me. They can’t help it, I guess; it’s just how they’re wired, biologically. Evolution conditioned our male hominid ancestors to seek nice girls as mates and form friendship bonds only with the other dudes that they hunted mammoths with. It’s true—I know this because I studied hominids in my fifth-grade science class.
So what’s the answer? Should I take up mammoth-hunting in an attempt to appeal to the friendship centers of men’s primal lizardbrains? Should I keep making guy “friends” and then prevent them from making a move on me by subtly undermining their self-confidence? Should I just give up on those manipulative, game-playing, two-faced bastards once and for all? I don’t know. I mean, I’d really like to have a true friendship with a guy someday, but it’s so hard to trust and respect them when they never say what they mean—and you never know when you might be relegated to the girlfriend-zone.
Behold The Hounds of Geevor. These whimsical dogs are the work of British artist David Kemp, who uses found objects to create his art, “particularly discarded remnants of the mining industry in his area, on the Tinner’s Coast in Cornwall. Twenty years ago, he was alerted about a mountain of old boots that were to be buried, so he salvaged them.”
A friend, working on the maintenance staff at Geevor, watched a mechanical digger burying a pile of redundant miners boots, & gave me a shout, I drove over & filled my pickup with the discarded boots, not knowing what I might do with them. This discarded footwear was to become THE HOUNDS OF GEEVOR.
“Relics of a vast subterranean workforce that rarely saw the light of day, each of these Hounds fed up to three & a half families (seven boots per dog). Released from their underground labours, they now wander the clifftops, looking for a proper job”
David’s awesome rubber hounds proved so popular that he was commissioned to cast them in bronze for downtown Redruth in Cornwall. And he continues to make delightful dogs out of foorwear. Follow David’s blog to see more.
In the past I’ve had fun toying with the idea of a live-action Portal movie, but given all of the great fan animations and CGI work I’ve seen I’m starting to wonder if- clearly in the world of wild hypotheticals- an animated movie might be the better idea. It would mean less reliance on the boundaries of physics, for one thing. I’m not sure if it would be more cost effective, but I’m inclined to think it would be, since large parts of a live-action version would have to be done digitally anyway. And there are a lot more liabilities involved and stunt doubles and all that fun stuff.
As a bonus you wouldn’t have to worry about them trying to recast Chell into some A-lister instead of using Alesia. Depending on the content of the movie, we’d probably still wind up with big names in the other voice roles, but at least they’d look right.
Given that it’s a moot point because neither type will be made into a “real” movie, I wouldn’t mind seeing more fanmade stuff. Outside of the occasional (and incredibly awesome) music vid or under-5-minute snippets.
When you finally work up the nerve to tell someone you like them. And then realize what you’ve done and panic.
Has anyone ever written a fic where GLaDOS is the good guy? Sort of like Wicked for the Portal set? Or maybe proving the adage about history being written by the winners. ;)
I always like seeing spins like that, but what brought it to mind was a friend watching Cabin in the Woods. I half-jokingly said, “now imagine that GLaDOS’s motivations were similar.” …And then I got thinking that might be a really interesting angle to work. Maybe not a direct copy of the movie, but more of a “there’s a lot more going on here than you realize.”
Portal 2 ~ Atlas & P-body Figures by 3aVOX
Preorders open on May 25 via bambalandstore
- 1/6th scale collectibles
- fully articulated and detailed
- feature Light-Up Optical Sensor
- and Light-Up Handheld Portal Device
- planned pre-order time: May 2013